Fathering of the Fatherless

Glorifying the Father of the Fatherless

via Desiring God Blog on 7/23/08

(Author: Jason Kovacs)

Jason Kovacs is the Director of Ministry Development for The ABBA Fund. He also blogs about orphan care and adoption and is on the steering committee for the Together for Adoption Conference.

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Like every other dad, the day I became a father for the first time was unforgettable. My wife and I were a happy young couple waiting to adopt our first child. Visions of a beautiful baby filled our minds.

We weren't sure if we would be matched with a birthmother a few months prior to the due-date or if we would get a phone call that a baby had been born and the brave young mother was ready to immediately place her child for adoption.

Months went by and we finally got a phone call, but it wasn't for a baby.

God had a two-year old boy and an eight-month old girl for us. The social worker asked if we were interested and we said "Yes!" and drove down to Florida to meet our children.

At the adoption agency, the first person I met was my son toddling around the corner. He walked up to me and grabbed my hand and pulled me toward the door. He wanted out of that place!

What I believe he wanted even more than that was a daddy.

That is the case today with millions of children around the world. UNICEF estimates that there are over 132 million orphans in the world today living without a permanent family. In the United States alone, the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services says, there are over 129,000 children waiting for a daddy and mommy. There are also many mothers with unexpected pregnancies who want to choose adoption instead of abortion.

Many of the children overseas must fight all by themselves for their very lives. Others are cared for in orphanages. The orphaned children in America will fight for their futures as well: roughly 2% will receive a university degree and 84% will have their own children within a few years of aging out of the foster-care system (source).

With all these parentless children, it is no side note that God is a "Father to the fatherless" (Psalm 68:5). He has made adoption the apex of the Gospel. His spiritual enemies are now his very sons and daughters through the Cross.

And God calls us, his adopted family, to be a part of his care for the fatherless. At the core of God's nature is a Father's heart that we are to reflect. Scripture is clear that practical care for orphans is fundamental to the mission of the church.

In Psalm 10:18 we are commanded to "do justice to the fatherless." And Isaiah tells us to "Defend the cause of the fatherless" (1:17). James writes, "religion that is pure and undefiled before God and the Father is this: to care for orphans…in their affliction" (1:27).

Surely this means not only caring temporarily for the needs of orphans, but also permanently caring for them through adoption.

We have an incredible opportunity in adoption to live out God's compassion and so eternally change the life of a child.

A year after we adopted, my wife gave birth to our third child, a beautiful baby girl. The wonder and beauty of becoming a parent through birth and adoption are incomparable and yet each is just as sweet and amazing and wonderful.

I encourage any of you who are praying about growing your family to consider adoption as a way of magnifying the "Father of the fatherless."

And for those of you who aren't called to adopt there many other ways to care for orphans such as foster-care, financially supporting those who are adopting, visiting orphanages, sponsoring a child, and praying.

The question will never be whether you should care for orphans. The question is how you will care for them and in doing so reflect the compassion of God for the least of these.

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If you are interested in knowing more about adoption and orphan care please visit Cry of the Orphan.

If you would like information on how you can financially help bring children into Christian homes or start an adoption fund at your church, please visit The ABBA Fund.

For information on the connection between our adoption by God and our adoption of children please visit Together for Adoption. We will be hosting our first conference on adoption this November.

Increased Fees

CCAA has been implementing steps to speed up the adoption process. I am beginning to wonder if one of those steps is the reason behind the increased fees collected by the Chinese Government. The fees have gone up drastically since we started this process. If we don't pay the fees, our baby K doesn't join our family. I wonder if this step has caused some parents to drop out of the program. Chinese adoptions has historically been one of the least expensive international countries to adopt from. I would hope that money is not the only reason that people choose to adopt from China but let's face it, money does have something to do with it.

I was reviewing the latest Places Everyone email from our agency. It is a monthly email update on where our dossier stands in the process. I couldn't help but
notice that a CONSIDERABLE amount of cash was needed for the trip to China....and this has me very concerned.

When we first signed up for the adoption, we were given a brochure that said that there would be an orphanage donation of $3,000, plus $1,200 or so for legal fees.

What I read today scared me .... It said $5,000 for Chinese Legal Fees, $2,000 for Province Legal Fees and $3,000 for an Orphanage Donation. Additionally, they suggest $1,500 - $2,000 per two adults in spending cash for meals. We will have an additional adult and 3 children with us so I'd guess that we need to double that.

I hate to bring money into the equation when we are talking about our forever family, but gosh, that sure is a HUGE increase! I think I need to re-consider doing a fundraiser. That is almost double what we had been originally told.

CCAA's Efforts

We have been told now for a few months that CCAA is implementing steps to speed up the adoption process. Many people think that what they are doing is waiting for the Olympics to be over. I believe this but think there is more to it than just that. Our referral update came today. This is what our agency had to say:

"The families from our last referral group who received their referral on May 2, 2008, experienced a 28 month referral timeframe. The CCAA continues to take steps to address the growing referral timeframe. These efforts include: recruiting more orphanages to participate in international adoption; educating orphanage officials on how to fill out the necessary paperwork for a child to be considered paper ready for international adoption in a more timely manner; starting to implement a computer based program, so that soon, everything will be done electronically; and providing impoverish orphanages with funds through the Blue Sky Plan. "

These are tangible steps that I do believe will help speed things up. I am still praying that we will be matched with our forever daughter in 2009. The girls will turn 5, 7, & 9 next year. I think that will be a good age for them all to make a cross continent trip, don't you : )

Referral Update

Once a month we get an email update from our adoption agency, informing us of the latest referrals that came in for that month. This is one way in which the agency can communicate with us during our LONG wait. It also lets us know how fast (in reality, how slow) we are moving through the wait.

I just received my May 2008 email update on the April 2008 referrals processed. For the entire month of April 2008, China was able to complete matching for an entire THREE days worth of referrals from January 2006! Lately they have been able to get through at least one full week. I think Kenadie will be in college by the time we get our baby. Seriously.

Homestudy Update

We met with our Social Worker from Adoption Advocates today to get a homestudy update done so we can apply for a new I-171H that expires in August but with fingerprints that expire in two weeks in May. I just have to say Wendy ROCKS! She is so helpful and genuine. She is a blessing from God for sure. She really does care about the babies that find their forever families here but she also cares about those families waiting for their child. The meeting took just under an hour and we should have our homestudy update next week sometime.

Since we had this appointment today and I've been busy the past week trying to get our updated paperwork ready for her, the girls had the adoption on their minds again. Most days they don't ask about it, especially with NYC on their minds. But this past week-end while we were driving, Kaeterina asked me if we would still live in NYC when we traveled to get Baby K. I told her that I honestly didn't know. I explained to her how we are following God's plan for us as best we can and that means I don't know what next year will be like. She was OK with that answer. So was I. That's a big step for me. I like to have the next 5 - 10 years planned out - in general terms anyways. I've given that up to God now. Only He knows.

I-600A About to Expire!

I'm typically more up on things like this but in my defense, we kind of have a lot going on right now!

I just realized yesterday that our fingerprints expire 5/7/08 (only 1 month away) and our I-600A expires at the beginning of August. That is required in order to bring Baby K home. I guess in the past when you were adopting internationally, the adoption was finalized, in most cases anyways, before these documents expired. The last group of referrals that come through experienced a 26 month wait. Our could easily turn in 36 months. We pray that it won't for many reasons but if it does, that means we will have to file for an extension AGAIN! And it won't be free.

If we file for an extension before our current one expires, then 1. It's free (about at $750 savings) and 2. We are "grandfathered" in and don't fall under the Hague Convention Treaty laws (I don't even know what that specifically would mean for us but I would imagine it means more paperwork which I'd LOVE to avoid).

So silly me thinks that just means filing a new form. Then I start to think about it and remember that it will require a homestudy update. Then I think about it some more and remember that the homestudy required a lot of papers too! UGH! I guess it'll be a distraction from our pending move (but I thought the pending move was distracting me from fretting over our continued wait for Baby K?!?)

Thank the Lord that our Homestudy Social Work is a GEM! Honest to God she is the BEST! She is very quick and thorough and just an all around wonderful person. So I emailed her tonight and within 30 minutes I have two emails back from her with directions on what we need to do step by step and an attachment with all of the necessary forms that need to be completed.

Well, guess I'll be busy this upcoming week. It's a good thing the girls have a break from many of their normal activities due to the Easter holiday.

Possible Names

Well I don't post here much because there is nothing happening. LOTS of rumors around. I read the Rumor Queen also know as China Adopt Talk None of the rumors have any basis - lots of speculation. But I still read it to feel connected. Our referral is so FAR off. We've only been waiting 8 months. The last batch of referrals (China only sends referrals once per month) experienced a 25 month wait. Still growing. Some agencies say people are dropping out of the program like crazy because they can't deal with the wait. China says, Just wait until 2009 and things will have improved! 2009! That's a year away! I know it's all in God's Timing. This year would not be a good year after-all for us to travel for her.

Most days I don't even think about it. I know Baby K will be matched to us when it's time. But for some reason, today she has been on my mind a LOT. Maybe it is because someone asked Pete yesterday if I could get pregnant. Well, with God's intervention, I could. But in all likelihood, I shouldn't be able to. Now that made me sad. I was never sure I was done having babies but I was sure I didn't want to be pregnant again : )

Pete and I decided on a name before we even sent in our application to Great Wall. It just came to me (I know it was God talking to me) one day. I was pulling into the drive through of a McDonald's when it was put into my head. I called Pete immediately and said I have her name and it's "baby K" and he said, Yes that is it. I was being hung up on a name before I would send in the application to GWCA. Weird I know but it is how things were working for me. It was hard coming up with yet another girl name that started with K that we both like. We tried finding a Chinese name but there were like 3 to choose from! I won't tell anyone her name until after it's official. I don't know why either. It was like that for the other 3 girls and just seems to be the way it will be her. So we call her Baby K. We know her name will start with K because the other girls do.

So as a distraction, we talked about names for her just for fun. Pete suggested Ki'an. I think that is actually a pretty name. But I still like our first one. I think I 'm stuck on it. I'll still consider others but no other ones sound right. Now when we see her, we could totally change our minds like we did with K#1 but who knows. I think God named her and it will stick. She is probably not even born yet - possibly not even conceived yet!